Monthly Archives: November 2013

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Saves Me

Saves Me

I honestly don’t think I’ve stayed so quiet in my entire life

I knew not a single word I said could comfort you

As if your frustrations with life weren’t enough 

You’ve now taken on mine too

No matter how hard I wished there was anything I could say

Deep down I knew silence was the only way

For me to actually just keep my mouth shut was really a great feat

I thought of the things I wanted to say, wordlessly in my seat

Holding my breath in attempt to hold back tears

In the void of all noise my head began filling with fears

Fears of loosing you completely

Fears that this quiet would defeat me

As you know I enjoy almost every second spent next to you

Even here mouth clamped shut wondering what I should do

So for now I’ll continue to hold my hopes up real high next to my dreams

Noiselessly pushing away the inner voice trying so hard to scream

I realize you had no intention to hurt me,

In fact that’s the only thing you have ever stated clearly

You even did so right from the start

You never asked me to give you the key to my heart

I swear tho, I will never speak again if the word you’re seeking is goodbye

It’s so hard in this dead air not to allow myself to cry

I’m not sure I will ever get thru to you,

I doubt I’ll even understand you, let alone the things you do

The only thing I do know is this

You really do drive me completely crazy,

Almost as much as you amaze me 

 

©2013 Shavon Taylor

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The Fight: It’s for You so it’s Alright

So easily I lose sight
Suddenly so weary from the fight
Forcing myself to carry on thru all the hurt and  pain
Trying to prove to no one but myself, I really am sane
The crazy is merely my surroundings, it can’t actually be me
This whirlwind you all claim to see, the one you say I choose to be
There’s so much good I could gain if I could only gain control
Instead I keep taking on more and more adding to my plate that’s already too full
No one sees all that I take on every second of every day
I continue to help others as I fall, I don’t know how but I always find a way
Refusing to let them see my struggle,  I try so hard to hide
That’s okay tho helping others never  messes with my flow
I’ve got all the time in the world, so I’ll take my time to grow

©2013 Shavon Taylor

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Defend

Leaves fall faster when we stop to think

The earth spins slowly when he starts to drink

My emotions flow ravenously when I express

Time to grab hold, erase this mess

Always hold fast to your dreams,

Admire the beauty in every scene

Focus on yourself, your well-being

Tho don’t forget to watch what goes on around you

Find and gain strength in all that surrounds you

Let nothing, not anyone hold you back

None should you allow to drag you down

Life should be a journey, not a job

Enjoyment should always come first at home

In fact it’s almost all that matters

This time respect and appreciation are demanded

Refusing to stay like all the times before,

Know she won’t be leaving  empty-handed

“No longer will I be walked on”

It’s her turn to come out on top,

She’ll be holding the heart this time

I can’t continue watching it all unravel

As it sincerely breaks mine

That’s it, that’s all, not another “fall”

She’s starting a new chapter

That’s right she’s finally moving on

No more waiting, watching, wanting more for you

No longer will she lie down

leaving herself open to your abuse

Now and forever she’s

GONE

©2013 Shavon Taylor

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7 Rules of Friendship

1. No matter what the situation or the opposition you are ALWAYS on your friend’s side

1b. Even if you are completely aware they are lying/wrong
1c. You can always find out their reasoning later
1d. If the opposition happens to be your significant 
other please refer to one of the following clauses
      "Chicks before d*cks" or "Bros before h*es"

2. If you hear one of my pretendafriends talkin’ negatively behind my back and you say nothing then or to me, you are now in the pretendafriend category and if I do hear it from a true friend you will be treated as such

3. If you can’t laugh with me, don’t laugh at me

4. If we haven’t talked in a while and it’s been even longer since we have seen each other, that does not lessen our bond, in fact I believe it only makes it stronger

5. If I look/sound like a complete idiot tell me so I can fix it don’t let me make it worse

5a. Please refer to #3 

6. At any point in time if you feel you need me CALL ME, No matter where I am, who I’m with, what I’m doing (or suposed to be doing) I will be there for you NO MATTER WHAT

6a.I won’t say I expect te same from you (Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed)

6b.I will say real friends will not even bother aknowledging 6a. because we both know that’s for the pretendafriends

7. IF YOU CAN’T TAKE OR MAKE A JOKE GTFO!!

<3 You guys, no need for shout outs, if you find your self wondring if your name would be among the unmentioned list, maybe you should consider why you are unsure, then LET ME KNOW so we can work on our…

FRIENSHIP

ILOVE THAT SH*T

©2013 Shavon Taylor

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Amityville Ink by Shane Walkem~ My Friend and Body Artist

http://amityvilleink.yolasite.com/

Meet Shane Walkem of  Amityville Ink the most amazing tattoo artist I have EVER met, not only does he have an amazing artistic ability but he’s a genuine, down to earth, honest, guy with a great sense of humor (Thank God!) I tend to go a wee bit over board with my humor and some people just can’t take it! Shane by far is not one of those people, in fact he’s quite the opposite. A truly rare gem these days to be honest!

Anyway let’s get back to the Art of the body, I personally have 3 pieces Shane not only tattooed but literally brought to life! When you get a tattoo you generally (well most people at least) have an idea of what they want and usually the picture of it is pretty clear in their minds. (I will touch back on this, funny story so just keep reading).

The first time I went to see Shane this was exactly the case for me I wanted a tattoo and I wanted it NOW (a few of mine were quite spontaneous decisions, still I regret none!) more specifically I wanted a music note with the bottom bubble part in the shape of a heart on my wrist with some meaningful words to me at the time inside, the trick was I wanted the wording to be my skin not the tattoo (basically colored around the words instead). He kindly pointed out the flaws in my plan, it would need to be much larger than I had planned or the ink would just finish filling it in for me eventually, yes probably not for years but “A tattoo is for life, the design should be too!”

I was amazed, I mean I know there are a lot of people out there who wouldn’t tell me this in fear of losing a client. With Shane he really would rather not have a client than to have an unsatisfied client! I really wish more companies, even people were as sincere and honest! He even pointed out the fact that the way I wanted it was actually backwards. LOL! That part really didn’t bother me so much, I wanted it to “go with the flow of my body” I had said.

What he came up with is SOOOOO much better than the image I had in my head, he called it “shading” at the time. Coincidentally it  looks like (to me at least) crashing waves with mountains and storm clouds in the background. Which is me 100% that’s all I’ll say about that for now, if you have read some of my poems you already probably understand. This post tho isn’t really about me….well at least I don’t want the MAIN focus to be on me.

http://amityvilleink.yolasite.com/

The first of my Amityville Ink collection by Shane Walkem

My second piece I wanted a ladybug behind my ear with its wings open. This time tho  Shane had a  lil bit of time to actually design it, well go figure just seconds before he is about to show me what he’s come up with I decided it would be wicked if he can make it in the shape of a heart! No problem a couple more minutes and I have a few of his ideas mapped out in full color and amazingly accurate! The winner was a simple choice tho and the funny part is he had thought that would be the one I wanted too! I love it!!! The process was great too, call me crazy but I actually really enjoyed it!  So much so that I decided my next piece would go behind my other ear.

http://amityvilleink.yolasite.com/

2nd peice at Amityville Ink by Shane Walkem

This is the funny story mentioned in the beginning, I ran into Shane Walkem at a mutual friends house on my payday! “Oh what luck” I had thought, “I want another tattoo!!” Well I could see he was in the middle of his artistic process on a guy who didn’t seem to be having the same awesome experience I did. (I have heard women are built to endure pain a lil better than men, considering they give birth I have a feeling that is a somewhat accurate statement.) I won’t say getting ink doesn’t hurt, tho I will say for ME it really is almost the exact opposite! Now I realize I am extremely terrible with money, so I asked Shane Walkem if I could possibly pre-pay him for my next tattoo, his obvious next question “of what?” My ridiculous answer? ” I don’t know yet, something behind my ear!” and the “wittiest response of all time” award goes to….Shane Walkem “Oh ya, I’ll put something behind your ear no problem” 😉

http://amityvilleink.yolasite.com/

The nauticalness was an idea he almost regretted mentioning! I’m so glad he did! My third tho NOT my final peice from Amityville Ink by Shane Walkem

Please keep in mind Shane behaves in an extremely proffessional  manner when with clients, to be completely fair, I definitely was the instigator behind the way we now interact, and I love it! I don’t only consider him my amazingly talented body artist but a close friend, whom I am very thankful to have met! Now I thinnk it’s time I share him with the world! Enjoy!

Here are some truly beautiful examples of his original body art:

Find him at any of the links above or this one here –> Amityville Ink by Shane Walkem These are some examples of his Cover Ups:

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Mind Over Matter

Have to stop hurting myself, hating myself, underestimating myself

I cannot undo any of what has already been done

Nor can I keep picking up my baggage as I turn to run

There are so many ways to destroy yourself

So many ways to just ignore the help

Yes, for me it has been a struggle since day one

Not a single day have I spent on my own basking in the sun

I hide in the clouds

Letting myself get lost amongst the crowds

Allowing my life to be pulled by some unseen current

You’d think a past like mine may act as a kind of deterrent

Wisdom they say is making mistakes and learning not to make them again

I often wish my hurting heart would listen to my clever weary brain

Never even taking notice of the warning signs as I race through the back roads

Like some demonic highway

If I want help I must realize it can’t always be my way

Those who offer opinions aren’t always trying to disagree

Most times they too only wish to set me free

Apparently tho I am not the only one I hide behind this mask

I watch thru the peep holes as helpers turn to monsters before my eyes

Before they can even get near their task

Once again its time to pull down the blinds

I sincerely don’t want to see the world and all humanities crimes

I’m still struggling to find real faces, for in this world it takes all kinds

At last tho I have realized this battered heart has no clue what it needs to find

So from this day forward I vow I will no longer allow it to take the controls from my mind

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver.com

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For My Poppy

This is a poem I wrote for my Poppy. For those of you wondering Poppy is what I called my Grandpa. I wrote this after he passed and I read it at his “Celebration of Life” tho I’m not sure anyone understood the words thru my sobs. He didn’t pass on or even near Remembrance Day, it was actually around Easter. My Poppy was an amazing man who did fight in the war tho. I think the reason my loss of him hits so hard on this day may have something to do with the fact that I wish I’d thanked him for fighting for us! Maybe it even has something to do with the poppies everyone wears reminding me of just how much I miss him. I hope this makes a few people smile the way he always could! I love you Poppy, gone though never forgotten <3 xxoxx <3

For My Poppy

It’s so hard to believe you’re gone

Probably because in our hearts and minds you will always live on 

So determined and strong willed you would never accept defeat

I remember when I was so young, thinking just touching your big comfy red chair was a treat

You guarded that chair from miles away

Only under siege of giggles or cuddles would your defences fray

Even Nanny’s crawling plant knew enough to steer clear

Like lightning you’d strike, with one quick glance I was frozen in fear

I remember the excitement of having one sticky hand snatched up thinkin’ “oh man, so close!”

I swear I still remember every inch of that house

I still know where every candy dish was placed

So many memories that will never be erased

Like the last time I saw you, I remember this one like it was just yesterday

“Hey Bon bon how you doin’ kiddo?” I can still hear you say

As you poked my tummy in that ticklish spot, you know the one kinda low

You knew all of our torturously ticklish spots 

You must have learned them when we were just tots

I will never forget you, nor will I ever stop loving you

Just as I am so sure of the happiness it brings to our family

Knowing you now fly high with your newly found wings

©2013 Shavon Taylor

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Sunny Daze

Everyday I’m searchin‘ for a lil more sun
A lil more focus maybe a lil less fun
These wet rainy days leave me lookin’ for a dry place to sit
Another to get close to, some place I may fit
Seems the ones I tend to meet I end up wishin‘ I could forget
Don’t get me wrong I refuse to live a life I regret
Tho these showers can be lonely and cold
My future, my happiness remains untold
My entire lifetime I may spend searchin’ for you
All the while you might be just behind me racing to pursue
Like the fresh forest floor covered in dew
I wake each morning seeking something new
A reason for being, checking the window in hopes it‘s a rainbow I‘ll be seeing
Tho I don’t let the storms outside get to me
For i know deep down happiness will one day find me
That will be the day i break free finally
Free from the rain, the pain, walking proudly, no shame
Somehow you will know how to tame my flame
As you ignite the spark
I will know I will never agian endure another nite alone in the dark
Together we will always find the sun
Where we will so happily run
Away from the sadness and gloom falling into a bed of laughter in our own room
A place where love and care will forever live
A place where there’s no wrong we would commit that the other couldn’t forgive
At times it hurts to stay locked in my head
In the feilds of flowers I’d much rather tred
Alone searching for those sunny days is where I remain instead
I know I can‘t do this all on my own
Still I’ll refuse to go on in misery each day only to grumble and groan
One day happiness will be my home
Together in the sun we will shine
For I am yours and you will be mine

wi©2013 Shavon Taylor

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Love Deprived

I cannot sleep another second, nor can I go on with my eyes closed
So much of my life I’ve just slept away, so much I missed while I just dozed
Dreams so rarely find me in the night, more often it’s nightmares that wake me with such fright
That’s when I find myself reaching for the light instead of you to hold me tight
I hate to have to admit to fear,especially when you’re not here
When I have to shake it off and pretend it’s all ok
While I’m forced to carry on thru what seems like such a hollow pointless day
You have no idea how alone I sometimes feel, like there’s no escape even when I know the cage is not real
I guess I never realized just how much strength I gain merely  from your presence, somehow the strangle hold of fears grip just lessens
It’s like it can’t get a hold on me if I’m holding you
Lately tho in the dark I still have to fight for you too
The closer we should be the faster and farther you pull away from me
Not even your nightmares keep you in my arms, in my head all I hear are alarms
You’re fading slowly, slipping from my view
You never were by my side, no matter how hard I tried or pretended I knew
All this time I thought one day we might win
Your heart tried to tell me to stop, but I fought to be a part of all I saw within
All I’ve ever wanted for us was happiness
As I tried to build more for us, you progressively gave me less
Not because you want to remain sad, not even to prove all the reasons I sometimes make you so mad
Maybe because I want it so bad, everything I’ve never had, I wanted to share with you
You say you’ve had it all and were forced to watch it falling
Tho I still believe it’s possible for you to take the chance and love, I must realize this is not a chance you will take with me

©2013 Shavon Taylor

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Open My Eyes to See Me

Evermore I battle within myself
Each way I turn I feel I must go without
The endless battle with hurt and deception leaves me filled with doubt
I hurt those closest to me, mostly in fear they too may realize I’m not who I should be
I won’t allow myself to gain when I could
Only taking what is free, not asking for that which is owed to me
If I chose to I could own this world, so simply I could twirl it on my finger tip
Never again would I slip, if I’d merely step up to the plate
My passion and power are unimaginable, there’s no limits on what I might create
The fact that I stand here staring fate in the face without making a move is unfathomable
If only I let go of any and all fear
If I refused to shed another tear not shed in joy
If I could grab hold of love and life, embrace it all and finally enjoy
Well maybe I’d actually know what it is to live
Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how much you give or how much you care
It’s all about how much you do and when you’re actually there
Achievements and accomplishments are the worst things I fear
Now if I could just find a way to make me see it this clear

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver