Monthly Archives: April 2023

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Bite of the Apple

For those who see this as some sort of status symbol, let me take you to the start when times were simple

The first bite of the apple as most well know was the very first sin

The first crack in the perfection we’d thought we lived in

Weather the Serpant, Adam or Eve truth be told it don’t matter what you believe, it’s all in what you know

Some believe a simple handheld device has the power to make them part of a higher class, little do they know the money wasted on complete trash

I mean they may as well be constructed entirely of glass, much like Cinderella’s slipper

Tho this story is far more like Snow White, not simply because they have already taken that fatal bite

I wonder what of the flavour bitter or sweet, did deceit taste similar to defeat

Herded amongst the masses, what’s one more sleepy sheep?

All the while they conduct your dreams, a forceful break from reality

Every night faces lit up by screens, what ever it takes to distract from the sound of their neighbours screams

Fear mongering scare tactics not allowing any to speak truth, instead spewing poisonous perversion to soak into our youth

Tracking movements, capturing moments, slowly replacing memories

Some think these devices will insure their status among their peers, yet these same people too aren’t all they appear

Some drink, we all have vices. Some can’t stand is, let them ease their own fears, all they gotta do is grab the wheel n steer

You’d think they’d be leading if they knew so much better

Treating every attack as tho it’s legal chasing your bill just to run ‘er up

Following the snake up the tree, drinking his venom from a sippy cup

Its clear to see not one believe they are equals not even close, everyone is a runner up

Lulled into a false sense of security, when the spell breaks it’s intense and you’re unsure if he’s killed you or if it’s just hell on earth

Pretty bad I guess if the manufacturer had to install suicide nets to save their employees from the eternal escape

Yes the people who build your precious bffs literally built them with blood, sweat, and tears

Still it’s not “The Man” anyone of us fears?

Sickness and injustice everywhere we turn yet we turn on each other and it’s our homes we burn?

Does no one else see what’s happening here, is the smoke still burning your eyes or do you think you ever saw clearly?

Glasses won’t help I’m afraid dear, it’s more than just seeing, it’s more than you hear, you have to feel in your soul that something is very wrong here

If that’s not the case for you I’m sorry to say they already got to you

It’s time we raise up our arms and refuse to be farmed and fooled hell, even framed by those we all know but none dare to name

Just like life on iCloud 9 once after a couple upgrades or a lil dated they no longer update it, won’t trade it, just wothless now that your finally comfortable with the changes and rearranging n they swap em up again can

Can’t say I’m a fan of this game they play

by

Dive

When I think back to that look on your face, those tears in your eyes
They weren’t for my pain
I realize tho they may have been inspired by your sickness
That sickness is defined a lil differently between you and I tho
It’s one I often used to witness
When you bounced back and forth so freely
When you barely even tried to see me
I was just the side bitch then
Oh, how much has changed now?
No, really tho? How much has changed?
At least back then you openly refused to show affection
Love for me was never mentioned
That honestly hurt a whole lot less than months of make believe
At least back then I expected you to leave
I knew I had no chance at a happily ever after
Instead you lead me to living in Lala land awaiting that wedding band
No picket fence, no mini me’s, or mini you’s
I at least had sum tie to reality, I knew who was using who
It’s now a year and at least a lifetime later
I’d forgotten how much I had hated her
More importantly I’d imagine, how much you loved her
Never was I more than a lover
You were just so unsure what else to do without her

Lost


How easy I made it to let it all slip away
Into the deep, the darkness

Down below
All it cost was momentary affection, a wee bit of attention and on with the show
All this time I thought I saw your feelings for me grow
How could I have missed it?
How did I not know?
Just a place holder, space filler, warm blanket in the cold lonely world
Nuthin more than disposable, temporary, sumone for you to throw away,
Here I almost believed you meant to stay
That you may have actually loved me
Yet you act like these are words you’d never say
Should come as no surprise tho honestly considering our past
Now you’re gone, and so insanely fast
I think for a moment you even had yourself fooled
You almost believed your lies too
All this time we thought you were free
Still in a heartbeat you become her feed
The hunger that cannot be satisfied
The thirst that cannot be quenched
It’s as if everything we had died
All that time falls with the spin of a wrench
Knocked you back into blind stupidity
Tho that ain’t true either no matter how badly I’d like to believe
All I think of is that look in your eyes while you cried, still you chose to leave
You can’t tell me you didn’t consider it all in that brief moment
I watched you weigh it.
Twice you asked me to kiss you and told me for the first time in a long time that you loved me knowing it was a lie
The moment you left I broke down sadly I knew you won’t be missing me
I was a complete mess
I already knew right then where you stood and didn’t care to know the rest
I knew deep down where you were about to go
Even the lies you’d use when you came home to put on a show.
You act like you think I’m stupid when I know you know I’m far from
Often it bothers you how smart I can be
Yet you don’t believe I will see?
Don’t do this
It ain’t fair
I won’t do this
You’re not there
Don’t do this

You don’t care
I won’t do this


“Only one” the song you sent me by mistake
The last time I decided there was no more I could take
The day you walked away from recovery, the same day you robotically rejected me
That’s the song you choose to get thru
Like Idk who you’re thinking about every time it plays
Like I don’t see that blank look on your face that fake smile that just stays stuck and empty
Do you have no empathy?
Do you even have a soul?
How can you drag me around thru all this shit just to ditch?
Fuck you for mistreating me
Fuck you for misleading me
Fuck you’re going to miss me
This time I’m done
See I can’t fake for another second that I’m ok with being entirely in love with someone who’s never really even seen me
You’re living life now trapped in that robotic shell of a man
The man who left that message that day somehow managed to evolve
Into an almost functional human
Tho he’s no where near humane
The fact that I’m still thinking about you at all is so fucking insane
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think it would end this way
Guess I was hoping that your heart would eventually see the truth and you could beat it
Sorry not sorry, I gotta leave it

by

The Mess of You

The lack of respect shines thru every single thing you do!
From lies to borrowing with or without permission either way there is no appreciation shown let alone care for what isn’t yours!
The same goes with my heart tho it could be yours instead you’re refusing!
Like most things in your life you continue using.
Never fearing one day you might lose it!
Entitled!
You believe you deserve the world.
That it should be handed to you.
Blatantly disregarding responsibility of any kind!
When departing, you don’t take the time to consider all you could be leaving behind.
When someone points out something you have done wrong, suddenly your just unkind!
You think you’re the right answer to every question without hesitation.
You think telling me half truths count as no lies?
Honey lemme tell you I’ve seen thru you since day one
I know each and every time you have disguised where you went or why you didn’t return!
I see the desperation in your every motion!
Seeing the understanding of the pain you were about to cause, this one my dear is very new!
Tho to be honest I believe it to be more hurtful than all the other shit you do.
Before that desperation equalled a lack of understanding, meant a lack of control.
Sadly this time I saw you make that choice.
Tears in your eyes as you asked for that kiss!
Twice you tasted these lips before that lie spilled from yours!
I love you.
The words you spat in my face before turning your back on me!
Before you left me for her.
The final time you made your choice without the slightest clue that we might actually be thru!
That I refuse to be runner up!
I won’t allow you to settle for me!
I am far better than you seem to believe!
I am far beyond being left behind!
Runner up is no place for a beautiful woman like me!
You think I don’t deserve any of what you give?
That’s fine baby you give her all you got!
Cuz as far as I’m concerned there’s nothing left for me!
I’ve done all I can to try to make you see.
Too bad you probably won’t even realize it even as I walk away.
Tho you will one day!
One day soon when you realize all the ways you counted on me!
The same ways you wouldn’t allow me to count on you!
The ways I was always there even when you weren’t!
The things I’d do every single fucking day!
So many reasons I don’t even have the strength to say!
You have no idea the hurt you drove deep into my soul!
So many lies!
Now its just goodbyes!
That’s all I got left for you!
That’s the first thing I’ve done for me since I met you!
You’d think it would feel good.
I’m sure you’d think a lot more of me if you saw a whole lot less of me!
I can’t continue to be less of me just to make up for the mess of you!
This damage can’t be undone!
I don’t think I can manage to run.
I know tho, I can’t stay
I can’t keep believing the lies you repeatedly say!
No more games no more hurt I’m walking the fuck away and I ain’t looking back!
Its a shame, we really were too cute
Too bad we never did get on track
I really believed we had what it takes to make it!
I’m just too tired of trying to fake it!
Don’t worry baby, this feeling, I WILL shake it