He thinks my attention is momentary
Best way to attain it he believes is merely negative means
He sees me as a cynic, a dreamer too afraid to dream
Claims I’m hurtful and hateful,with a hole where my heart should be
Moment by moment his opinion changes of me
He expects changes from me, lays it out truthfully unknowing of the pain inflicted so cruelly
Trying to help me without tying me down, tearing me down
Unfairly I expect him to know how much my choices already weigh
Unjustly I only want for him to trust me
Pushing or pulling, none will ever move me
My emotions flash and flare with each flick of wind
Sadly sharing its strength with his words,
Each linguistic blow knocks that same wind from my sails
Stuck as the water grows stale, stagnant
The sweet salty air becomes sour, sticky, sickly
I’m finding it hard then harder to breathe
If only he knew how badly I need for him to just believe
Not to cast stones nor remind me of my crutches nor falls and fails
How could he not see, I am aware if I continue this way I may never grow
No need to point out my flaws, that’s not the attention I crave nor desire
His affection I wish could be my only infection,
Instead I’m left licking salt from my freshly healing wounds at his discretion
It may seem I don’t care, or ever plan to change
The truth is my dear; far, far more strange
I love that you make me feel loved,
You remind me of how it felt to be happy
I appreciate you showing me opportunity in all that could be
Just please; I beg of you when you do, to do so kind and gently
I understand it pains you to see me destroying my self,
Bear in mind though I do so very well already
All by myself
Realistically I am in no need of help
©2015 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver
