Category Archives: Writing
Breakdown or Breakthrough
I get so incredibly frustrated because it feels like I’m running out of time
That and the fact that no matter how I try, I just can’t keep you off my mind
I’ve said I’ve let you go, but can’t bring myself to actually do it
You say you have no feelings for me, but I truly believe there’s much more to it
Driving me crazy as even the smallest sings you refuse to acknowledge
It’s so hard for me, living life precariously teetering on the edge
Mere moments from my next break, never knowing if it will be down or through
Funny thing is no matter which way I lean, it seems I’m always leanin’ on you
The one person who believed in me when no one else would
The only one to try to help me escape a world that you just never could
I’m not sure what you want from me, if anything at all
The one thing I do know is, you’re always there to help me up after every single fall
I can’t thank you enough for all you helped me through
I just wish there was a single thing in this world I wanted, more than I desire you
© 2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver
Fantasized Fame
Fantasized Fame
Takin’ power from the ground, always in motion
This chick ain’t slowin’ down for no one
I’m bout to claim my crown and show these fools I’m not clownin’ around
Got the kinda energy none can master
They just can’t keep up with me, not that I’m even the one they’re after
I chase ’em down just for fun, love to watch ’em turn to run
Some people like games but I’m not one to be playin’ around
Y’all think I’m lost now that I’m finally found?
Tryin’ to turn this sh*t off ain’t
Sorry if now it seems I’m only tryin’ to please me
We may not be able to fool each other but we can fool ourselves easy enough
Every body’s got their story, the things they like to call rough
I’m not about to compare, I’d rather not see just how little you care
So much time I have spent helpin’ the hindered
Now that I’m lost no help left to be delivered You think I’m undeserving?
For me there seems to be less understanding
Watching my world crumble to the floor still I’m helpin’ the homeless to a door
Pickin’ up the shattered bits off the dizzying floor
Piecing them back together so they fit back in your frame
Finding time to clean up other’s messes I couldn’t even try to explain
Hang it back up on your wall
Catchin’ you right outta the sky, no more free fall
So you once again can reminisce on the good times and all that you once enjoyed
Helpin’ families find focus, yet I’m still unemployed
Can’t move ahead if I keep lookin back
I just wish I knew which cards to throw away in order to get the right ones from the stack
Gotta stay on track keep my focus on the main goal
Maybe try judging the pot against the toll
Can’t keep goin’ all in for all of you
It’s ’bout damn time I start thinkin’ bout me too
©2013 Shavon Taylor
Stepping it up
Stepping It Up
I demand the respect you all expect for yourselves, and it’s about time
The way I allowed myself to be treated should be a crime
A crime on humanity, only showing my humility
Funny isn’t it, seeing the doormat step up to the plate
I’m done with the boys, no more 2nd rate
First class all the way, I called shot-gun and up front is where I plan to stay
Hold on tight now because you’re in for quite a ride
In the shadows I will no longer hide I can and I will live to love myself
Taking all my insecurities and puttin’ ’em on the shelf
Won’t let you drive me crazy constantly waiting and wanting more
No more will I be pickin’ my heart up off the floor
You can’t hack this heart, good luck with around the world
How ’bout right down the drain where my brain often swirls
Up outta the gutter I am amazing and you’d be lucky to have me
Didn’t I say I was done?
I didn’t stutter, maybe you didn’t quite hear me
Though I know I spoke quite clearly
Honestly I don’t like repeating myself, I don’t speak just for fun
So if you don’t have the time to listen, please don’t bother to ask
This communication thing really shouldn’t be such a difficult task
I must say listening is nowhere near as important as actually hearing
What is it exactly about the words I’m saying that your fearing?
The fact that I might be right or that you might actually be wrong?
You said we could never last, yet I’ve stuck around now for how long?
How many times have we said goodbye?
How many tears have I, will I cry?
It doesn’t really matter in the end honestly
I have finally realized I don’t need you or anyone
I have everything I will ever need, it’s just the same as all I will ever be
ME
Saves Me
Saves Me
I honestly don’t think I’ve stayed so quiet in my entire life
I knew not a single word I said could comfort you
As if your frustrations with life weren’t enough
You’ve now taken on mine too
No matter how hard I wished there was anything I could say
Deep down I knew silence was the only way
For me to actually just keep my mouth shut was really a great feat
I thought of the things I wanted to say, wordlessly in my seat
Holding my breath in attempt to hold back tears
In the void of all noise my head began filling with fears
Fears of loosing you completely
Fears that this quiet would defeat me
As you know I enjoy almost every second spent next to you
Even here mouth clamped shut wondering what I should do
So for now I’ll continue to hold my hopes up real high next to my dreams
Noiselessly pushing away the inner voice trying so hard to scream
I realize you had no intention to hurt me,
In fact that’s the only thing you have ever stated clearly
You even did so right from the start
You never asked me to give you the key to my heart
I swear tho, I will never speak again if the word you’re seeking is goodbye
It’s so hard in this dead air not to allow myself to cry
I’m not sure I will ever get thru to you,
I doubt I’ll even understand you, let alone the things you do
The only thing I do know is this
You really do drive me completely crazy,
Almost as much as you amaze me
©2013 Shavon Taylor
The Fight: It’s for You so it’s Alright
So easily I lose sight
Suddenly so weary from the fight
Forcing myself to carry on thru all the hurt and pain
Trying to prove to no one but myself, I really am sane
The crazy is merely my surroundings, it can’t actually be me
This whirlwind you all claim to see, the one you say I choose to be
There’s so much good I could gain if I could only gain control
Instead I keep taking on more and more adding to my plate that’s already too full
No one sees all that I take on every second of every day
I continue to help others as I fall, I don’t know how but I always find a way
Refusing to let them see my struggle, I try so hard to hide
That’s okay tho helping others never messes with my flow
I’ve got all the time in the world, so I’ll take my time to grow
©2013 Shavon Taylor
Defend
Leaves fall faster when we stop to think
The earth spins slowly when he starts to drink
My emotions flow ravenously when I express
Time to grab hold, erase this mess
Always hold fast to your dreams,
Admire the beauty in every scene
Focus on yourself, your well-being
Tho don’t forget to watch what goes on around you
Find and gain strength in all that surrounds you
Let nothing, not anyone hold you back
None should you allow to drag you down
Life should be a journey, not a job
Enjoyment should always come first at home
In fact it’s almost all that matters
This time respect and appreciation are demanded
Refusing to stay like all the times before,
Know she won’t be leaving empty-handed
“No longer will I be walked on”
It’s her turn to come out on top,
She’ll be holding the heart this time
I can’t continue watching it all unravel
As it sincerely breaks mine
That’s it, that’s all, not another “fall”
She’s starting a new chapter
That’s right she’s finally moving on
No more waiting, watching, wanting more for you
No longer will she lie down
leaving herself open to your abuse
Now and forever she’s
GONE
©2013 Shavon Taylor
7 Rules of Friendship
1. No matter what the situation or the opposition you are ALWAYS on your friend’s side
1b. Even if you are completely aware they are lying/wrong
1c. You can always find out their reasoning later
1d. If the opposition happens to be your significant
other please refer to one of the following clauses
"Chicks before d*cks" or "Bros before h*es"
2. If you hear one of my pretendafriends talkin’ negatively behind my back and you say nothing then or to me, you are now in the pretendafriend category and if I do hear it from a true friend you will be treated as such
3. If you can’t laugh with me, don’t laugh at me
4. If we haven’t talked in a while and it’s been even longer since we have seen each other, that does not lessen our bond, in fact I believe it only makes it stronger
5. If I look/sound like a complete idiot tell me so I can fix it don’t let me make it worse
5a. Please refer to #3
6. At any point in time if you feel you need me CALL ME, No matter where I am, who I’m with, what I’m doing (or suposed to be doing) I will be there for you NO MATTER WHAT
6a.I won’t say I expect te same from you (Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed)
6b.I will say real friends will not even bother aknowledging 6a. because we both know that’s for the pretendafriends
7. IF YOU CAN’T TAKE OR MAKE A JOKE GTFO!!
<3 You guys, no need for shout outs, if you find your self wondring if your name would be among the unmentioned list, maybe you should consider why you are unsure, then LET ME KNOW so we can work on our…
FRIENSHIP
ILOVE THAT SH*T
©2013 Shavon Taylor
Mind Over Matter
Have to stop hurting myself, hating myself, underestimating myself
I cannot undo any of what has already been done
Nor can I keep picking up my baggage as I turn to run
There are so many ways to destroy yourself
So many ways to just ignore the help
Yes, for me it has been a struggle since day one
Not a single day have I spent on my own basking in the sun
I hide in the clouds
Letting myself get lost amongst the crowds
Allowing my life to be pulled by some unseen current
You’d think a past like mine may act as a kind of deterrent
Wisdom they say is making mistakes and learning not to make them again
I often wish my hurting heart would listen to my clever weary brain
Never even taking notice of the warning signs as I race through the back roads
Like some demonic highway
If I want help I must realize it can’t always be my way
Those who offer opinions aren’t always trying to disagree
Most times they too only wish to set me free
Apparently tho I am not the only one I hide behind this mask
I watch thru the peep holes as helpers turn to monsters before my eyes
Before they can even get near their task
Once again its time to pull down the blinds
I sincerely don’t want to see the world and all humanities crimes
I’m still struggling to find real faces, for in this world it takes all kinds
At last tho I have realized this battered heart has no clue what it needs to find
So from this day forward I vow I will no longer allow it to take the controls from my mind
©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver.com
For My Poppy
This is a poem I wrote for my Poppy. For those of you wondering Poppy is what I called my Grandpa. I wrote this after he passed and I read it at his “Celebration of Life” tho I’m not sure anyone understood the words thru my sobs. He didn’t pass on or even near Remembrance Day, it was actually around Easter. My Poppy was an amazing man who did fight in the war tho. I think the reason my loss of him hits so hard on this day may have something to do with the fact that I wish I’d thanked him for fighting for us! Maybe it even has something to do with the poppies everyone wears reminding me of just how much I miss him. I hope this makes a few people smile the way he always could! I love you Poppy, gone though never forgotten <3 xxoxx <3
For My Poppy
It’s so hard to believe you’re gone
Probably because in our hearts and minds you will always live on
So determined and strong willed you would never accept defeat
I remember when I was so young, thinking just touching your big comfy red chair was a treat
You guarded that chair from miles away
Only under siege of giggles or cuddles would your defences fray
Even Nanny’s crawling plant knew enough to steer clear
Like lightning you’d strike, with one quick glance I was frozen in fear
I remember the excitement of having one sticky hand snatched up thinkin’ “oh man, so close!”
I swear I still remember every inch of that house
I still know where every candy dish was placed
So many memories that will never be erased
Like the last time I saw you, I remember this one like it was just yesterday
“Hey Bon bon how you doin’ kiddo?” I can still hear you say
As you poked my tummy in that ticklish spot, you know the one kinda low
You knew all of our torturously ticklish spots
You must have learned them when we were just tots
I will never forget you, nor will I ever stop loving you
Just as I am so sure of the happiness it brings to our family
Knowing you now fly high with your newly found wings
©2013 Shavon Taylor