Category Archives: Poems

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Mind Over Matter

Have to stop hurting myself, hating myself, underestimating myself

I cannot undo any of what has already been done

Nor can I keep picking up my baggage as I turn to run

There are so many ways to destroy yourself

So many ways to just ignore the help

Yes, for me it has been a struggle since day one

Not a single day have I spent on my own basking in the sun

I hide in the clouds

Letting myself get lost amongst the crowds

Allowing my life to be pulled by some unseen current

You’d think a past like mine may act as a kind of deterrent

Wisdom they say is making mistakes and learning not to make them again

I often wish my hurting heart would listen to my clever weary brain

Never even taking notice of the warning signs as I race through the back roads

Like some demonic highway

If I want help I must realize it can’t always be my way

Those who offer opinions aren’t always trying to disagree

Most times they too only wish to set me free

Apparently tho I am not the only one I hide behind this mask

I watch thru the peep holes as helpers turn to monsters before my eyes

Before they can even get near their task

Once again its time to pull down the blinds

I sincerely don’t want to see the world and all humanities crimes

I’m still struggling to find real faces, for in this world it takes all kinds

At last tho I have realized this battered heart has no clue what it needs to find

So from this day forward I vow I will no longer allow it to take the controls from my mind

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver.com

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For My Poppy

This is a poem I wrote for my Poppy. For those of you wondering Poppy is what I called my Grandpa. I wrote this after he passed and I read it at his “Celebration of Life” tho I’m not sure anyone understood the words thru my sobs. He didn’t pass on or even near Remembrance Day, it was actually around Easter. My Poppy was an amazing man who did fight in the war tho. I think the reason my loss of him hits so hard on this day may have something to do with the fact that I wish I’d thanked him for fighting for us! Maybe it even has something to do with the poppies everyone wears reminding me of just how much I miss him. I hope this makes a few people smile the way he always could! I love you Poppy, gone though never forgotten <3 xxoxx <3

For My Poppy

It’s so hard to believe you’re gone

Probably because in our hearts and minds you will always live on 

So determined and strong willed you would never accept defeat

I remember when I was so young, thinking just touching your big comfy red chair was a treat

You guarded that chair from miles away

Only under siege of giggles or cuddles would your defences fray

Even Nanny’s crawling plant knew enough to steer clear

Like lightning you’d strike, with one quick glance I was frozen in fear

I remember the excitement of having one sticky hand snatched up thinkin’ “oh man, so close!”

I swear I still remember every inch of that house

I still know where every candy dish was placed

So many memories that will never be erased

Like the last time I saw you, I remember this one like it was just yesterday

“Hey Bon bon how you doin’ kiddo?” I can still hear you say

As you poked my tummy in that ticklish spot, you know the one kinda low

You knew all of our torturously ticklish spots 

You must have learned them when we were just tots

I will never forget you, nor will I ever stop loving you

Just as I am so sure of the happiness it brings to our family

Knowing you now fly high with your newly found wings

©2013 Shavon Taylor

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Sunny Daze

Everyday I’m searchin‘ for a lil more sun
A lil more focus maybe a lil less fun
These wet rainy days leave me lookin’ for a dry place to sit
Another to get close to, some place I may fit
Seems the ones I tend to meet I end up wishin‘ I could forget
Don’t get me wrong I refuse to live a life I regret
Tho these showers can be lonely and cold
My future, my happiness remains untold
My entire lifetime I may spend searchin’ for you
All the while you might be just behind me racing to pursue
Like the fresh forest floor covered in dew
I wake each morning seeking something new
A reason for being, checking the window in hopes it‘s a rainbow I‘ll be seeing
Tho I don’t let the storms outside get to me
For i know deep down happiness will one day find me
That will be the day i break free finally
Free from the rain, the pain, walking proudly, no shame
Somehow you will know how to tame my flame
As you ignite the spark
I will know I will never agian endure another nite alone in the dark
Together we will always find the sun
Where we will so happily run
Away from the sadness and gloom falling into a bed of laughter in our own room
A place where love and care will forever live
A place where there’s no wrong we would commit that the other couldn’t forgive
At times it hurts to stay locked in my head
In the feilds of flowers I’d much rather tred
Alone searching for those sunny days is where I remain instead
I know I can‘t do this all on my own
Still I’ll refuse to go on in misery each day only to grumble and groan
One day happiness will be my home
Together in the sun we will shine
For I am yours and you will be mine

wi©2013 Shavon Taylor

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Love Deprived

I cannot sleep another second, nor can I go on with my eyes closed
So much of my life I’ve just slept away, so much I missed while I just dozed
Dreams so rarely find me in the night, more often it’s nightmares that wake me with such fright
That’s when I find myself reaching for the light instead of you to hold me tight
I hate to have to admit to fear,especially when you’re not here
When I have to shake it off and pretend it’s all ok
While I’m forced to carry on thru what seems like such a hollow pointless day
You have no idea how alone I sometimes feel, like there’s no escape even when I know the cage is not real
I guess I never realized just how much strength I gain merely  from your presence, somehow the strangle hold of fears grip just lessens
It’s like it can’t get a hold on me if I’m holding you
Lately tho in the dark I still have to fight for you too
The closer we should be the faster and farther you pull away from me
Not even your nightmares keep you in my arms, in my head all I hear are alarms
You’re fading slowly, slipping from my view
You never were by my side, no matter how hard I tried or pretended I knew
All this time I thought one day we might win
Your heart tried to tell me to stop, but I fought to be a part of all I saw within
All I’ve ever wanted for us was happiness
As I tried to build more for us, you progressively gave me less
Not because you want to remain sad, not even to prove all the reasons I sometimes make you so mad
Maybe because I want it so bad, everything I’ve never had, I wanted to share with you
You say you’ve had it all and were forced to watch it falling
Tho I still believe it’s possible for you to take the chance and love, I must realize this is not a chance you will take with me

©2013 Shavon Taylor

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Open My Eyes to See Me

Evermore I battle within myself
Each way I turn I feel I must go without
The endless battle with hurt and deception leaves me filled with doubt
I hurt those closest to me, mostly in fear they too may realize I’m not who I should be
I won’t allow myself to gain when I could
Only taking what is free, not asking for that which is owed to me
If I chose to I could own this world, so simply I could twirl it on my finger tip
Never again would I slip, if I’d merely step up to the plate
My passion and power are unimaginable, there’s no limits on what I might create
The fact that I stand here staring fate in the face without making a move is unfathomable
If only I let go of any and all fear
If I refused to shed another tear not shed in joy
If I could grab hold of love and life, embrace it all and finally enjoy
Well maybe I’d actually know what it is to live
Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how much you give or how much you care
It’s all about how much you do and when you’re actually there
Achievements and accomplishments are the worst things I fear
Now if I could just find a way to make me see it this clear

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

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Dark Sea

I hate seeing those rain clouds hanging above your head
Swimming with thoughts and feelings unsaid
I can feel your pain wash over me
Suddenly I’m right beside you drowning in that dark sea
How do I keep your head above the surface while those thoughts weigh you down like lead?
I’ve been waiting for your flood to subside, keeping all my advice inside
To just listen, just be there
I only wish all your troubles could be taken away with the tide
Unfortunately it’s not that simple, it never really is
I may be able to offer support, or comfort, even a place to keep you dry temporarily
Just know you will work your way thru it
We both know you can do it
Just as sure there will always be pain, every once in a while it has to rain
It’s what comes after the rain that makes it worthwhile to weather
Everything is so fresh and renewed
You will go back out there and fight while growing so incredibly  strong
Until again one day you find yourself sinking in that dark sea
Worry not, for you know exactly where you will find me

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

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Stages of Crazed Rages

So sure is he who tries to tell me who to be
So unpure the anger he forces thru me
Naive, negative, nonsensical nuisance he has become
My choices leave no comfort as they weigh on my conscience
Tho I have no intent to hurt him, his frailty seems an infants equivalence
Unable to express exactly what it would take to calm him
I’m left to guess just how to soothe him
Never before have I witnessed an outlook so grim
So focused on the f*ckery, bitterly battling everyone,
Himself and those his mind creates
His anger fills him up so full all bits of sanity left deflate
I can’t keep up with his head trips
Quite honestly the violence is frightening when he flips
I wonder when did his madness start, just how long has it been
I’m watching him fall apart, he’s bursting at the seams
All normalcy hits the floor as I realize there’s no time to make it to the door
Once again I’m in for a show
Off the handle he flys tellin’ me things I’d really rather not know
No matter how I try I can’t get him back down to earth with me
Reality remains something I can no longer make him see
It hurts to know he is so far gone
Fanatically convinced he’s merely a pawn
They’re all out to get him you see
It’s all just a game, we all want him to lose, that’s right even ME
Now he’s a lone soldier fighting his own mind
Peace, hope, sanity, serenity things he no longer even attempts to find
I thought my lil rain showers were insane
In comparison to his typhoon my crazy seems rather tame
I’m not sure there’s a way for me to help him and even if there were I’m not sure I could stay
Although my crazy may not compare to his,
In my mind I know I’m only moving closer everyday
Unfortunately my only option left is to pick up MY pieces and go the other way

©2013 Shavon Taylor

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Get Up, Or Get Out

Infatuations with irritations 

Constant imitations of immature situations

Frustration combined with irrationalization leads to awkward occasions

With no occupation to busy the mind, confrontation can be quite easy to find

No sense, no reason, never can stay

Leavin’ all kinds behind

Go on pretendedly blind, stuck on play or pause

No rewind, why is it not easier to be kind?

Insanity instead is what we find

Justifications severely confined, to suit self-gratification

View is brutally battered, it needs to be refined

Alterations to be made on your ulterior motives have been outlined

Change your inspiration, gotta make changes of all kinds

Just moments of sunshine will better or brighten your day

A single second spent seeking help will lighten your way, or weigh

No reason to stay knowing all the while you’re going astray

Don’t act like you don’t know the way, or that you can forever keep your loved ones at bay

Enough of the games no more time to play 

Just open up and feel the warmth of the day

Your happiness awaits, yet inside is where you choose to stay?

Where vanity inflates as your sanity has hit the brakes

Inside is where you keep all your emotions too 

Bitterness flourishes in cold dark places, or people like you 

©2013 Shavon Taylor

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Mind Goggles

The mind can be a terribly treacherous tyrant,

Taking control of all emotion

Changing, replacing, rearranging all ideas or preconceived notions

Stretching farther than imagination

Turning once readily received  ideas into insane irrationalizations

As the tiniest irritations perceived become believed infatuations

Time becomes lost, caught in a free fall, it all comes undone, at what cost?

Shielded fun, yielded fruit from forgotten trees

Some so rotten, the others, never allowed to see

Tho it all still grows deep within

The beauty bestowed will silence any sin

We continue our search, some climb so high, even out on the frailest of limbs

Unfortunately the darkness still finds a way to seep in

Under cover of sleep or shade of trees in broad day light

Seeking our reason to be,  unafraid  we will fight

The trick is knowing, not merely believing what we fight for is right

Both dreams and fears are only what we have created

Our screams or tears could be so easily evaded

Instead it all builds perpetually

We may not always have a choice in our destination

You may even attempt to put the blame on destiny

We all know the seeds we plant as we go,

What they may become if allowed to grow

Just remember we all fall sometimes, so look out below

©2013 Shavon Taylor

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I of the storm

I have no idea where I’m goin’
You have no idea where I’ve been
My life story is a bumpy one I don’t often care to share
People tend to look at you differently when they hear how much you’ve endured
I don’t have to explain a thing when i choose instead to remain reserved
I still haven’t quite figured out how to make the chaos stop
It keeps going even when I feel it’s done
Up that proverbial mountain I continually climb and fall, no matter how hard I try I can’t stay on top
I want to just pick up the scattered pieces and move on
Where would I begin, how am I supposed to just let go
I’ve been rolling this storm for so long now
I can’t help but wonder if it may have grown a life of its own
What if I can’t stop what I’ve started?
If after the darkness rolls out and the clouds have parted,
Will it all unravel and spin completely out of control
I guess there’s really only one way to know
I feel so ashamed, why is change so frightening
That impossibly immediate love for you struck my heart like lighting
Everything stopped spinning, for just a moment
There was a beautiful calm all around, in that brief second I saw how my life could be so different
As quickly as it came it was gone
My whole world shook and the spinning kept on
It all now seems so bleak
This storm continues to grow stronger yet I feel so weak
On my own I’m expected to accept any weather that comes my way
Like a dusty picture hanging on your wall, neglected it’s still expected to stay
In the eye of the storm I’m to remain unmoved
Spinning all around my world becomes a blur
Just what did i expect to prove
The unattainable attempting to change the unchangeable
Never once since I met him have I even looked for ground more stable
Still I wish for sanity, for silence, even for simplicity
It seems now he has only grown more afraid of me
Always keeping his distance while guarding with that enraging resistance