April 25, 2020 by shavon

Live The Way You Love

Funny lookin’ in the mirror yet I can’t look her in the eyes

Inside I hide so much fear from her,

Can’t let her see thru my disguise.

The pain still seeps in

The world awakens; still, she sleeps in

Letting it all pass by yet again

She hangs her head to cry

So lonely yet so full of love to give

Always searchin’ for help from above yet so low she chooses to live

Vowing one day she will let the sun shine in on her darkness

Somehow, some way she will turn all this sadness to bliss

There is no reason for anyone to not have what they need

No acceptable reason to plant the seed of greed

No longer will she allow herself to go with out

Refusing to let her judgement ever again be clouded by doubt

If only she stopped allowing the bad ones in,

She might see how much easier it could be to finally win

Her smile no longer she will fake

Another second of bitterness I honestly don’t believe she can take

This world, all humanity would prosper so greatly if we all merely did our share

If we only did things the way we all knew was fair

Never taking advantage of another for our own gain

Instead of stopping to watch what causes pain,

We could stop what created it.

Rather than fight, let’s debate a bit!

Take a lil time to listen to our fellow man, I bet we could come up with a mutually beneficial plan

Maybe take a chance

Find ways to change the world

Or just investigate it’s mysterious ways

A new view, seeing past all the games we used to play

No more excuses for committing crimes,

No need for catching people like fish on your line,

Isn’t anyone willing to make a sacrifice

In the end do you not see

We are the only ones to pay the price

Karma will come back for you,

Honestly it’s your choice if she’s nice

She only dishes what she’s taken

Still you wonder why your heart is breakin’?

If you think you haven’t earned this heartache, I’m sorry to say you are mistaken

She knows what we do, she sees all

She is not the reason you fall,

Though she could be the reason you can finally stand proud or walk tall

I realize my opinion may not mean that much to you,

That’s just fine, go on doin’ what you do.

You can take these words how ever you wish,

Just remember the same you put out,

Will end up back in your dish

June 11, 2014 by shavon

No Escape

Laughing lightly as they try to fight me

Don’t they know I’ll never truly leave them be?

I will haunt them in their nightmares and their dreams

They will wake frightened by their own screams

Let your whole world fall into my hands

I’ll let it slip slowly through my fingers like times sands

Lost but never lonely cuz ya always got me

Rarely did you come by choice; most of you in fact were brought to me

Handed over like you had no free will

No choice, just wouldn’t listen to that inner voice

Maybe that’s why your here still

Here I will hold you for as long as I can

No escaping me, don’t matter how far you ran

You need more will power than you got

If only you were earlier taught

Maybe you were, maybe you merely forgot

I wish you luck

Try to get rid of me I laugh ha f*ck…

March 17, 2014 by shavon

Ever After?

How do you continually say such hurtful sh*t?

Next you apologize then I’m just supposed to forget?

Like it all just goes away?

How can you say you don’t mean the things you say,

When you say the exact same as you said yesterday?

How can you say you love this person you so venomously describe?

How can you spit such hate, while looking me dead in the eyes?

How do you believe you love me when all other evidence proves you’re beginning to hate me?

Why is it such torture when we are together?

Who am I trying to kid, when we’re apart it ain’t much better

Every breath, every moment, every word seems to go completely unheard, unnoticed

Underestimated is the pain of such misunderstandings

Tell me, honestly if we haven’t figured out how to be happy together yet, do you think we ever can be?

If we still spend every night like this will you ever attempt to understand me?

I realize nothing I do seems right to you,

I do things a lil differently than most I’ll admit

To be completely fair tho, it’s not like I kept it a secret

What is it you used to love about me?

Did I somehow change so immensely, or did you just finally let go of trying to make me the person you think I ought to be?

Once you say something you can’t just take it back

There’s always some truth behind it, no matter how hard the attack

Some I wish you could undo tho because they feel like the sharpest knives in my heart and trying to slice right thru

My heart that’s where you generally aim your linguistic sword, always going for the kill shot

Each blow hurts so much more than you may have thought

Yet I get back up, trying to hold on only to be pushed back down again

Fighting so f*cking hard to just ignore the pain while refusing to show my shame

I truly am so lost you know, no matter how hard I look I rarely seem to find my way anywhere

Do you really think I float so freely thru life, nothing in my head but air?

If only you could peek inside and see all these damn thoughts weighing down on me

I’m like a chameleon always in the background, seeming to blend right in

I just can’t keep up the fight any more, it’s really beginning to look like neither one ofus will ever win

Hurting each other instead over and over,

every day and every night

Aren’t you tired from this fight,

because honestly it looks like there’s no end in sight

October 24, 2013 by shavon

All Anger Aside

Insanely infuriating at times when it seems I’ve completely lost my mind

Funny part is, it’s never my sanity I’m seeking, nope not what I’m trying to find

Just some insignificant object for some random project I’m doin’ just to kill time, fill the void

When that anxiety comes round I’m one you might actually want to avoid

It’s got nothin’ to do with you but I gotta let it out, or should I say take it out?

Either way I’m sure you’ll know what I’m talkin’ ’bout

So please just ignore it, or move along as I start to scream n shout, don’t take it personally

Whatever you do I only ask that you don’t point out the obvious or throw in your own sarcastic bitterness

That’s usually when my lil outbursts become a huge mess

I can’t…well won’t admit I’m wrong, not in the heat of the moment at least, that’s for damn sure

Silence I swear is the cure, hearing my own stupidity flung back at me

That unanswered accusation that usually makes no sense at all

Feelin’ a lil foolish and probably extremely embarrassed, I calm right down, and apologize real fast

See the truth is I am the best way to defeat me

Sayin that out loud even to me sounds so silly

Just know though truth is all I speak

I realized long ago it’s so not worth the work to keep up the lies

What’s the use in trying to hide?

Doesn’t it feel better to let everyone see what’s inside?

Wouldn’t life be that much easier if we all said exactly how we felt?

Better still exactly what we meant?

Things could be so incredibly different

Though it would help if more of us actually listened too

Maybe even did a lil more with our follow through

Hell, if that were the case I wouldn’t have to explain any of this to all of you