I’mmortal

I know you think you see thru me cuz in many ways we are one in the same
Tho what you seem to forget is in many ways I am one of a kind
I don’t follow the status quo, in fact I’m generally inclined to move against the flow
Honestly if you’d actually hear me out, you might finally see what I’m talkin’ ’bout
Instead of judgment of others based on old facts, nothing new
Makes it really hard to find any other view
There are many angles at which you may assess a situation or person
Sometimes things get tangled, information askew, may become perversion
Just as there are many sides to a story, paths taken to get to the same destination can contrast drastically too
Empty all the pride, set aside all the glory, past: shakin’ like a game it all changes fast and so dramatically
What you see and what you hear are not often similar to the thoughts that fill my head
Who you be when you’re here might soften your climb into my bed
Tho what you think or calculate ain’t often that clear
Even when you show your work, you can still miss the mark dear
Sure I may let you pass
Oftentimes I just would rather not fight and attempt to forcefully tilt your head
Such a miniscule difference at times can tip the world on such an axis that it will make your head spin
I realize you’ve been played and hurt before and you think our similarities are somehow lost here
Tho found you are my dear
Like the key to your house being attached mysteriously to the one for your car
Open up maybe you don’t have to actually let me in but I’ll tell ya now, as if you don’t already know
The more you open up, the more truth you’ll find shown
Not merely my truth but the universal reality
The ultimate epiphany
Not discovered with the methods that are thought to be tried, tested and true
When assessing solutions take a chance once in a while and start it with a clear slate
Let the blanks remain without guestimated hypotheses
Wait to physically touch or see the answer on its own
I don’t want you to be vulnerable, just to be more aware of all the variables
Instead of colour by number, wait to stumble into a masterpiece
Release, let fumble, allow it to roll
Maybe you can cross this bridge without a toll
You may or may not know the greatest beauty sprouts from some of the darkest pains
If you look hard enough you may see the light inside this darkened place
Lighthearted laughter before the show, doesn’t have to equal disaster you know.
Look me right in the face and tell me to stay Only to turn and walk the other way?
Still I try and best believe I’ll try again, I will always get back up, I will always live again
This will never be the end

Are You Game?

Exciting sights

Biting sounds

Tingling touch

Tightening feels

Breathless taste

Every sense has been heightened

Dark be enlightened

Apart?

Fight it!

Spark ignited

Flames blushing cheeks

Blood rushing, weak

Tear, ripping sheets

Stare, facing fate

Care, no mistakes

Daringly baring

Naked emotions

No potions

Nothing to hide here

No need to lie

Sharing the ride

Come on inside

Take a look around

If you seek, seek to be found

Leaps out of bounds

Sleep, just not now

Peak, hearts pound

Top it is now?

Stop? But how?

Startlingly starting

Here and now

Clearly I vow

Got this steering right now

The end and anew

Bending, not to break

Love is the stake

I raise, I’m all in

Amazed cuz he’s callin’

To bluff ain’t enough

If it’s real we both win

Life is the game

Are you holding the same?

Tell me you’re in

Now we begin

Not For Anyone, For Everyone

The ability to look forward open-heartedly

The Optimist clearing the the foggy mist of the pessimist to see clearly

Waiting only to witness the universe in it’s infinite instances

Experiencing all the appearances

Seeing only beauty in all it’s deliriousness

The dizzying feeling of taking flight

Grounded, still reeling

It’s that falling

A feeling so fleeting

Sitting, standing or walking be proud

Be tall cuz you know,

You got up, after all

Sure maybe you missed a shot

Just remember who caught the pass

Never have I seen anyone move that fast

Truth and deliverance

Bound to drive or serve

Either way you have to pay to play

Resilience is merely brilliance that managed to stand the test of time

New

I should probably thank you for making it easy not to make yet another incredibly terrible decision
Yet I still want to tell you that you can’t even begin to imagine what you’ll be missin’
Sure I’m a mess, an explosion of colour and commotion
Tho a heart so pure and full of emotion
I care beyond anything words could even describe
“Childish” some may say, voices stained with distain
I like to think I live lightly while shining brightly
When it comes to the children, man do I speak their language
We laugh and play in so much of the same ways
It should come as no surprise how easily we just understand it
Some may think me unsure
Can’t say I blame them, I tend to skip plans like flat rocks on a still water surface
Those things that matter most you may notice are those on which I refuse to sway
Keeping time with the beat isn’t quite the same as keeping to the time of day
Sure I play games, in fact I play all kinds
My one golden rule?
Never play with anothers heart or their mind
Not a sore loser
Even when it feels I lose all the time
I always dance in the rain
Weather it’s in or outdoors
Sometimes I linger for a moment longer
I like to do like the dew
As those drops fall they wash it all to start something new
I thought for a moment that rain had passed but this morning I think I’ll be dancing again too

Bully’s Buddy

Some may be surprised to know I was picked on quite a bit in school. There are only 2 occasions I sort of remember. The only reason I remember these 2 occasions is due to me being the victor as well as telling the story a few thousand times. lol! Think about it really tho of literally hundreds of thousands of interactions loaded with rude comments and just plain mean things that were said I only vaugely remember 2.The reason  I am pointing this out is I have a much stronger more vivid memory of a Bully’s Buddy:

Years later, well after high school I was working at Subway making a sandwich for a customer when another walked in. I paused to say “Hello, I’ll be right with you” then turned back to the witty conversation we had been in the midst of. I’m not sure what was said but I can tell you we were having a good laugh, of course at no one’s expense. I then turned unknowingly, to Bully’s Buddy who asked “Your Shavon right? Shavon Taylor?  You went to Hope Secondary right?” I was surprised! I had thought I’ve never seen this guy before in my life but I said “Yep, that’s me!” With a huge smile. To whic he replied “I knew it was you I could tell by your laugh” those of u who know me know exactly what he meant and that he must have known me. I’m sure I looked extremely confused, mostly because I really was! He said “I don’t know if you remember me but I know you remember the guys I called friends, they quite often made fun of you, I never did! I never said anything mean, but I did laugh and I didn’t say anything to stop them either. It has really bothered me and I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” I couldn’t believe what was happening. I think I said “Thank you.” It brings tears to my eyes just thinkin about that day, I was completely blown away. I know he told me his name but I don’t remember it. I wish there were more people like this man in the world, or better yet ones who do exactly what this man wished he had. Stand up for anyone being treated unfairly, put an end to the cruelty and the nonsense until it’s no longer in existance! I want to thank my Bully’s Buddy from the bottom of my heart, I can’t even begin to explain the difference your words have made…not just for me hopefully you inspired more to stand up instead of falling into line. Maybe more children will do the right thing and less will have to grow up through a childhood like mine.

Just Me

I know most must think me thoughtless

When in reality honestly, I wish I just thought less

Judge not lest ye be judged?

I’m the one judging myself every day

Questioning my reasoning 

Puzzled beyond understanding 

In the light of day I’m outstanding

Very lil do I worry about what I say or do 

In the blanket of night my doubt is resounding 

When I turn out the light it begins

The internal fight, my eternal struggle

Attempting to quiet my numbing mumbling 

Next I’m annoying myself, thinking back remembering my off moments

That’s when it begins trying to retrace, to erase entire days 

Thinking of all the lil things, the stupid, silly, unimportant things

I’ve come to realize this process is unnecessary 

Who cares if I’m unruly, as long as I’m Me completely and truly 

I may make mistakes, so what

 I’m human 

So sue me

If you don’t like what you see then maybe that’s cuz you’re not really lookin at me

If you are then your just upset cuz you know I’m nothing like you 

I’m just Me

💚

The Line

I donno what goes throught your mind.

I donno what you think let alone how you feel.

I donno how to make it better, in fact I think I’ve failed each time I’ve tried.

If I told you I don’t need you, I’m tellin you right now I lied

If I told you I’m ok and then turned n walked away, you should know I cried. 

At the too of my stairs, wishin on stars made  no difference.

Find myself wishing I could escape this place.

Escape reality, break the confines 

Brightly irratic

I’m the color outside the lines

I have no power falling petal by petal just a delicate flower.

Loiked you in the eye, how could you have known I lied?

I gotta face the truth I’ll never be with you, you never were mine.

Just wanna see your smiling face around all the time.

If your wondering how I’m doin don’t ask just know I’ll be fine.

We both know it’s the end of the line. 

Halloween

Hall ‘o’s eve
Oh hallowed eve
Hollow is this this evening
Paint dripping from my face, quick paced away from this place
Internally screaming
Eternity haunting, grieving
Leaving
Unfeeling
I’m reeling
So deceiving, no descriptions 
New prescription, yet no healing
Barely breathing this hallowed hollow evening
Awaited invitation
Perceived pain revealing a darkend  endless swirling ceiling
On the floor want this hurt no more
Pawing, clawing, crawling
Hall ‘o’s eve not naive
I felt you leave me this hallowed hollow howled evening

Giving Thanks

Giving thanks for the encouragement, every step along the way
For the times you held my hand when you must have wanted to slap my face
For the non-judgmental ear and for disproving each and every fear
For the enlightenment during the darkest paths
For never giving up or giving in, tho giving all you had to help me win
For always following thru, never letting me down
For ignoring all the times I was blind, as I see clearly now
For always reminding me to look up at the horizon when I wanted to fall to the ground
For the times you steered me vertically, where ever you chose to lead I knew it was to keep from hurting me
For knowing one day I would realize the reasoning behind all you’d done, knowing none of it was ever done in vain
For every deep breath and every tear shed that you reminded me only washed away the pain
For saving me from the entire world when I thought I was merely some lost forsaken soul
For spinning me around and round, tho not to make me dizzy; but to keep me busy when I just wanted to run away
For not holding me back, or tying me down and for every bit of love I have ever found
I thank you for always being true and always being you
Lastly I thank you for loving me and always allowing me to be just that
Just me
©2015 Shavon Taylor                 ♥Clovers All Over♥

Unperfected

A wrecking ball comes crashing through

Tearing down all the walls around you

A life altering step forward or downward falter

It depends on how you look at the land

Do you see what could be or hold on to the memory of what use to stand

Do you shed light on the darkness or dwell on what you miss

Would you choose to love those you have hurt or hurt those that you love

In the garden do you play in the dirt or would you prefer gloves

Rainy days I swear are the best, no silence to be found

Do you enjoy or protest, soaking up the sounds or search for dry ground

So much you can tell of a person by what causes their misery

So hard to tell fairy tales from mysteries

We’ve all got our story, our own version of perversion

If we could all just remember the past is history and each day is a chance to make happier memories

Maybe we’d all be just a lil more carefree

©2015 Shavon Taylor                                    ♥CloversAllOver♥