Dark Sea

I hate seeing those rain clouds hanging above your head
Swimming with thoughts and feelings unsaid
I can feel your pain wash over me
Suddenly I’m right beside you drowning in that dark sea
How do I keep your head above the surface while those thoughts weigh you down like lead?
I’ve been waiting for your flood to subside, keeping all my advice inside
To just listen, just be there
I only wish all your troubles could be taken away with the tide
Unfortunately it’s not that simple, it never really is
I may be able to offer support, or comfort, even a place to keep you dry temporarily
Just know you will work your way thru it
We both know you can do it
Just as sure there will always be pain, every once in a while it has to rain
It’s what comes after the rain that makes it worthwhile to weather
Everything is so fresh and renewed
You will go back out there and fight while growing so incredibly  strong
Until again one day you find yourself sinking in that dark sea
Worry not, for you know exactly where you will find me

©2013 Shavon Taylor CloversAllOver

Stages of Crazed Rages

So sure is he who tries to tell me who to be
So unpure the anger he forces thru me
Naive, negative, nonsensical nuisance he has become
My choices leave no comfort as they weigh on my conscience
Tho I have no intent to hurt him, his frailty seems an infants equivalence
Unable to express exactly what it would take to calm him
I’m left to guess just how to soothe him
Never before have I witnessed an outlook so grim
So focused on the f*ckery, bitterly battling everyone,
Himself and those his mind creates
His anger fills him up so full all bits of sanity left deflate
I can’t keep up with his head trips
Quite honestly the violence is frightening when he flips
I wonder when did his madness start, just how long has it been
I’m watching him fall apart, he’s bursting at the seams
All normalcy hits the floor as I realize there’s no time to make it to the door
Once again I’m in for a show
Off the handle he flys tellin’ me things I’d really rather not know
No matter how I try I can’t get him back down to earth with me
Reality remains something I can no longer make him see
It hurts to know he is so far gone
Fanatically convinced he’s merely a pawn
They’re all out to get him you see
It’s all just a game, we all want him to lose, that’s right even ME
Now he’s a lone soldier fighting his own mind
Peace, hope, sanity, serenity things he no longer even attempts to find
I thought my lil rain showers were insane
In comparison to his typhoon my crazy seems rather tame
I’m not sure there’s a way for me to help him and even if there were I’m not sure I could stay
Although my crazy may not compare to his,
In my mind I know I’m only moving closer everyday
Unfortunately my only option left is to pick up MY pieces and go the other way

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Get Up, Or Get Out

Infatuations with irritations 

Constant imitations of immature situations

Frustration combined with irrationalization leads to awkward occasions

With no occupation to busy the mind, confrontation can be quite easy to find

No sense, no reason, never can stay

Leavin’ all kinds behind

Go on pretendedly blind, stuck on play or pause

No rewind, why is it not easier to be kind?

Insanity instead is what we find

Justifications severely confined, to suit self-gratification

View is brutally battered, it needs to be refined

Alterations to be made on your ulterior motives have been outlined

Change your inspiration, gotta make changes of all kinds

Just moments of sunshine will better or brighten your day

A single second spent seeking help will lighten your way, or weigh

No reason to stay knowing all the while you’re going astray

Don’t act like you don’t know the way, or that you can forever keep your loved ones at bay

Enough of the games no more time to play 

Just open up and feel the warmth of the day

Your happiness awaits, yet inside is where you choose to stay?

Where vanity inflates as your sanity has hit the brakes

Inside is where you keep all your emotions too 

Bitterness flourishes in cold dark places, or people like you 

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Mind Goggles

The mind can be a terribly treacherous tyrant,

Taking control of all emotion

Changing, replacing, rearranging all ideas or preconceived notions

Stretching farther than imagination

Turning once readily received  ideas into insane irrationalizations

As the tiniest irritations perceived become believed infatuations

Time becomes lost, caught in a free fall, it all comes undone, at what cost?

Shielded fun, yielded fruit from forgotten trees

Some so rotten, the others, never allowed to see

Tho it all still grows deep within

The beauty bestowed will silence any sin

We continue our search, some climb so high, even out on the frailest of limbs

Unfortunately the darkness still finds a way to seep in

Under cover of sleep or shade of trees in broad day light

Seeking our reason to be,  unafraid  we will fight

The trick is knowing, not merely believing what we fight for is right

Both dreams and fears are only what we have created

Our screams or tears could be so easily evaded

Instead it all builds perpetually

We may not always have a choice in our destination

You may even attempt to put the blame on destiny

We all know the seeds we plant as we go,

What they may become if allowed to grow

Just remember we all fall sometimes, so look out below

©2013 Shavon Taylor

I of the storm

I have no idea where I’m goin’
You have no idea where I’ve been
My life story is a bumpy one I don’t often care to share
People tend to look at you differently when they hear how much you’ve endured
I don’t have to explain a thing when i choose instead to remain reserved
I still haven’t quite figured out how to make the chaos stop
It keeps going even when I feel it’s done
Up that proverbial mountain I continually climb and fall, no matter how hard I try I can’t stay on top
I want to just pick up the scattered pieces and move on
Where would I begin, how am I supposed to just let go
I’ve been rolling this storm for so long now
I can’t help but wonder if it may have grown a life of its own
What if I can’t stop what I’ve started?
If after the darkness rolls out and the clouds have parted,
Will it all unravel and spin completely out of control
I guess there’s really only one way to know
I feel so ashamed, why is change so frightening
That impossibly immediate love for you struck my heart like lighting
Everything stopped spinning, for just a moment
There was a beautiful calm all around, in that brief second I saw how my life could be so different
As quickly as it came it was gone
My whole world shook and the spinning kept on
It all now seems so bleak
This storm continues to grow stronger yet I feel so weak
On my own I’m expected to accept any weather that comes my way
Like a dusty picture hanging on your wall, neglected it’s still expected to stay
In the eye of the storm I’m to remain unmoved
Spinning all around my world becomes a blur
Just what did i expect to prove
The unattainable attempting to change the unchangeable
Never once since I met him have I even looked for ground more stable
Still I wish for sanity, for silence, even for simplicity
It seems now he has only grown more afraid of me
Always keeping his distance while guarding with that enraging resistance

For My Friend, You Are The Best

The people who are lucky enough to have you in their lives are blessed!

Believe me it’s true, even if they don’t show it.

It’s only because they just don’t know it yet,

Possibly a few some how just forget.

I am so happy for you a beautiful wife and mother,

A friend like no other.

I always knew if I ever needed you, you’d be right there.

You have overcome so much, your parents must be so proud!

We are two of a kind you and I 

We’ve always stood out from the crowd

Never doing things the conventional way,

Often too our kind caring hearts would lead us astray

Now seeing all you have accomplished gives me a bit of hope

One day you decided enough was enough, and you left before your sanity broke

You knew you deserved so much better and that happiness would soon find you

One day soon I know  I  will do the same, and get it together too.

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Dee Nile the River of Real Eyes-ation

Can you open your eyes and see more than just the river washing you away from me?

Is it really so much easier to deny than to actually allow it to be?

Continue on faking your way thru as you float astray

I can not hold you, if I could I still would not contain you

So go on living your cool cruel life the way you do

There’s no need for you to look me in the eyes

No need for truth, in fact I prefer your lies

I see right thru them so paper thin, where do I begin?

Shall I let go, move on and just find some one new?

Or do I wage this tsunami and fight for you?

This trip to realization has been quite tiresome

I almost can’t remember where it started from

Sloshing on, in this water I continue to tred 

Can’t we start over, fresh and new instead?

Why is it so impossible to get you outta my head?

Will I just float on forever like thoughts in the breeze?

Forever waiting for you to claim me?

This river is merciless, at times relentless

I find myself wishing, “If only you meant less”

Then somehow maybe I could finally free myself of you

Would you suddenly be the one racing to pursue?

They say if you love someone you should set them free

My biggest fear tho is that you won’t even stop to look back for me

In Sanity

This place I thought was once my home

It almost seems as if it’s the only one I’d ever known

My flare, my spark, you know, that bit of me that sets me apart

Recently it’s beginning to feel more like a mark

A signal, a sign following me all the time

Telling those around me I’m not fine

In Sanity, the insane is me, completely crazy

The only one in this place quite like me 

I’ve visited Sanity so seldom lately, I no longer feel welcomed

Once loved and cherished for my flare

Now shoved then banished for my flaws

In Sanity they can’t make up my mind

Independent thoughts?

Few of their population will even think to find

Merely sheep following the masses

I used to pretend this place was too my home

Now to these people I am unknown

When I come around tho I can see some find it hard to pick a side

Interested, intrigued, tho too insecure so still I must hide

In Sanity they are all well rested, so no use trying to run

They’d catch me for sure 

My spark, my flair, the way they stare

If they want to act like I don’t matter than why should I care?

A sign, a signal, not to lose track of time or your world might end up like mine

Still they stall, too afraid to fall

In Sanity tho they would never admit it, they crave me 

Their only chance to save their world you see, is me 

In Sanity they need the insanity to set them free

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Seeing Sounds (Trippin’ on Troubled Times)

Rainbow trails lead to purple puddles

Drip drops in flip flops

Climbing and falling from tree tops

Clean and fresh never lettin’ it get stale

Still so frail, still we need

Frantic timing as I’m stalling

I see it stops as I start to look in between

Thoughts pop, as bubbles burst

Teeter totter, should I  bother

Merry go rounds, on our playgrounds

Sandboxes full of castles

The tide can wash it all away

How does water cast shadows?

No need to hide, here’s the lost and found

So instead seek change, rearrange, shake it up

Make your life exactly what you want it to be

Solidify your dreams

You’re in control of your destiny

Choose your own path, forget the past

Everything can be flipped so fast

Can’t always play it safe, don’t fade into the background

Don’t be afraid to make a sound

Cause a stir, fly past it all in a blur

A whirlwind isn’t always a disaster,

Just as calm doesn’t mean trouble’s stayed

Can’t judge what’s inside from just what you see

Who knows maybe you’re exactly like me

©2013 Shavon Taylor

Face This and Fake Less or Remain Faceless

Lookin’ at my heart all battered and bruised,

I can’t help but wonder how I let it all get so bad

Tho my heart’s not shattered, the edges are quite tattered

You can tell it’s been well used

How can a heart so open and so pure, look so sad?

Why is it not shinning and brilliant?

It seems the more I open it up, the more damage it must endure

A true heart must always try to be prepared and remain resilient

For there are many dark hearts out there who see good intentions as good lure

How do you protect such a beautiful fragile thing?

All the while taking care not to jade it

Protection from the cruel chill some bitterly cold people bring

Trying to remember just what made it,

Forgetting any attempts made to break it

Never giving up, nor giving in, but continuing to move on

To be strong and always be sure to give your heart, that way no one can ever take it

If we all loved the way we should, we could all win

If we could all only trust each other enough instead of proving each other wrong

Look at the beauty that dwells down deep in the few who still give their hearts so willingly

See past the smile painted on their face, do you see their pain, isn’t that veil so thin?

Those battered beaten lil hearts may be damaged but they continue beating

Getting up after every fall hoping to finally find another heart just as welcoming

Another who not only see the power but the pain and imperfections too

Some one who loves it all and wants nothing more than to be at least a lil bit like you

The fake hearts hide their faces too afraid so they accept less than what they know they deserve

Stop the madness show your kindness, share your weakness, damn it show some nerve

If you can’t face your reality you’ll remain hurting with nothing to comfort you but your insanity

Wouldn’t you rather attain greatness and be just a lil bit like me?

 

©2013 Shavon Taylor