Tag Archives: Personal

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The Mess of You

The lack of respect shines thru every single thing you do!
From lies to borrowing with or without permission either way there is no appreciation shown let alone care for what isn’t yours!
The same goes with my heart tho it could be yours instead you’re refusing!
Like most things in your life you continue using.
Never fearing one day you might lose it!
Entitled!
You believe you deserve the world.
That it should be handed to you.
Blatantly disregarding responsibility of any kind!
When departing, you don’t take the time to consider all you could be leaving behind.
When someone points out something you have done wrong, suddenly your just unkind!
You think you’re the right answer to every question without hesitation.
You think telling me half truths count as no lies?
Honey lemme tell you I’ve seen thru you since day one
I know each and every time you have disguised where you went or why you didn’t return!
I see the desperation in your every motion!
Seeing the understanding of the pain you were about to cause, this one my dear is very new!
Tho to be honest I believe it to be more hurtful than all the other shit you do.
Before that desperation equalled a lack of understanding, meant a lack of control.
Sadly this time I saw you make that choice.
Tears in your eyes as you asked for that kiss!
Twice you tasted these lips before that lie spilled from yours!
I love you.
The words you spat in my face before turning your back on me!
Before you left me for her.
The final time you made your choice without the slightest clue that we might actually be thru!
That I refuse to be runner up!
I won’t allow you to settle for me!
I am far better than you seem to believe!
I am far beyond being left behind!
Runner up is no place for a beautiful woman like me!
You think I don’t deserve any of what you give?
That’s fine baby you give her all you got!
Cuz as far as I’m concerned there’s nothing left for me!
I’ve done all I can to try to make you see.
Too bad you probably won’t even realize it even as I walk away.
Tho you will one day!
One day soon when you realize all the ways you counted on me!
The same ways you wouldn’t allow me to count on you!
The ways I was always there even when you weren’t!
The things I’d do every single fucking day!
So many reasons I don’t even have the strength to say!
You have no idea the hurt you drove deep into my soul!
So many lies!
Now its just goodbyes!
That’s all I got left for you!
That’s the first thing I’ve done for me since I met you!
You’d think it would feel good.
I’m sure you’d think a lot more of me if you saw a whole lot less of me!
I can’t continue to be less of me just to make up for the mess of you!
This damage can’t be undone!
I don’t think I can manage to run.
I know tho, I can’t stay
I can’t keep believing the lies you repeatedly say!
No more games no more hurt I’m walking the fuck away and I ain’t looking back!
Its a shame, we really were too cute
Too bad we never did get on track
I really believed we had what it takes to make it!
I’m just too tired of trying to fake it!
Don’t worry baby, this feeling, I WILL shake it

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Are You Game?

Exciting sights

Biting sounds

Tingling touch

Tightening feels

Breathless taste

Every sense has been heightened

Dark be enlightened

Apart?

Fight it!

Spark ignited

Flames blushing cheeks

Blood rushing, weak

Tear, ripping sheets

Stare, facing fate

Care, no mistakes

Daringly baring

Naked emotions

No potions

Nothing to hide here

No need to lie

Sharing the ride

Come on inside

Take a look around

If you seek, seek to be found

Leaps out of bounds

Sleep, just not now

Peak, hearts pound

Top it is now?

Stop? But how?

Startlingly starting

Here and now

Clearly I vow

Got this steering right now

The end and anew

Bending, not to break

Love is the stake

I raise, I’m all in

Amazed cuz he’s callin’

To bluff ain’t enough

If it’s real we both win

Life is the game

Are you holding the same?

Tell me you’re in

Now we begin

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A Piece of Peace

I wonder how I’ve stayed in the game so long

So incredibly strong when the effort is made so others will hold on

How can I be so meek and weak when it’s help for me I seek?

How can helping others initiate my self-destruct sequence?

If I were more like them and only cared about myself would it help, would it even make a difference?

Why is it so easy to hide our pain from the rest of the world?

Why is it I’m always confined to the rain, where my hair like this twisting rd is curled?

A complete mess, still I separate myself from the rest

I know without doubt I could pass any test

My will cannot be broken; my soul will never be barred

I’ve had my fill this time, I’m not jokin’

It’s beginning to take its toll

I refuse to let it carry on it’s already gone too far

The end of this game is near,

I know this that’s why I have no fear

I could so easily do this on my own

Aren’t you aware my mere mood sets the tone?

You will see my powers, I know my effect

Yet no one brings me flowers, still I get no respect

Left to simmer on the back burner, a lil disturbed all this time I’ve gone unstirred

Alone awaiting new arrivals

These times are all about survival

Everyone believing they only need to make it out

Don’t have the time nor feel the need to know what it’s all about

You can’t learn it all too fast

Before you know it you’ll have realized your life has passed

Take the time, enjoy the small pleasures

Forget finding a way all can be measured

The answers aren’t always exactly the ones you seek to find,

Sometimes what matters is just the journey thru your own mind

Take every opportunity to share the wealth of your knowledge

You never know, you just might be helping someone climb down from that ledge

We can only take so much before we start to lose touch

If we would all just help one another instead of fight

They say we won’t find world peace, but who knows we just might

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Better

Ignorance and arrogance together make for a frightening foe

Persistence combined with your resistance makes for a tiresome show

If only these infuriated children would take the time to grow

There’s so much in this world none of us know

Though it seems futile trying to make some one wake up let alone see

Seems there are just too few people out there like me

The one’s you just know when you need will be right there to care

Then eternally claiming we are the ones you can’t scare

I wear my invisible invincibles each and every day

I must admit I often wish there was another way

Can’t we finally put an end to all the fights, maybe go outside to play?

Can’t we all let go of our insecurities, stop running the other way, even just once find the courage to stay?

To hold it all together is sometimes harder than you might think

So many of us are out on that ledge, too bloody close to the brink

Just one wrong move and you’ll find your self back in a free fall

So rarely we attempt to lend a hand , too afraid we might fall from our own walls

Why must we choose to keep all our feelings inside?

Why is it we feel safest when we choose to hide?

Could it truly be that people just don’t care enough?

Or do we really think secrets or deception make us look tough?

I really doubt it makes you stronger bottling it all up

Going it alone makes it a bit harder to get back up

Life shouldn’t have to be so damned hard

The best way to win is with a team, everything could be just exactly the way we dreamed!

© Shavon Taylor 2013 “Cloversallover”

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No Escape

Laughing lightly as they try to fight me

Don’t they know I’ll never truly leave them be?

I will haunt them in their nightmares and their dreams

They will wake frightened by their own screams

Let your whole world fall into my hands

I’ll let it slip slowly through my fingers like times sands

Lost but never lonely cuz ya always got me

Rarely did you come by choice; most of you in fact were brought to me

Handed over like you had no free will

No choice, just wouldn’t listen to that inner voice

Maybe that’s why your here still

Here I will hold you for as long as I can

No escaping me, don’t matter how far you ran

You need more will power than you got

If only you were earlier taught

Maybe you were, maybe you merely forgot

I wish you luck

Try to get rid of me I laugh ha f*ck…

©2014 Shavon Taylor

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It Is What It Is? (I cannot stand this saying!!)

Isn’t it amazing how one voiced perception can sway so many in a completely different direction?

Some try to make it seem easier to follow offering infinite protection

Assuring you that you shall never again feel or  fear that cruel sting of rejection

They won’t ask much, no one expects perfection

“So long as you listen closely and do things exactly the way I say, you will find no need for correction”

So easily some are entangled in their  webs of deceit

Having you believe you’re winning when in reality you’ve unwittingly accepted defeat

Who could have known all alone you might feel more complete

Sadly I’ve come to realize I can rarely trust the smiling faces I meet

Tho I try not to forget each and every one of us is unique

Unfortunately there are so few left who have remained sweet

The ones you know you can always count on in your time of need

Those amazing few left unconsumed by that terrible greed

They’re there with only a moment’s notice, not a single hesitation nor a single second wasted waiting for you beg and plead

The ones who not only mean what they say, but always say exactly what they mean

© Shavon Taylor 2014

The more I hear people say this the more it bothers me! It is what it is? How about it is whatever you make of it!!!!!

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Who the F*ck are You?

Time to take this world by storm

just wait till they  see what i got in store

Fakes n phonies just thrown to the floor

That’s rite I’m at the plate n it ain’t dinner time, not commercial, industrial, nope not even coffee break

Imma crash down on em all so f*ckin hard you’ll feel thunder shake the earths core

Next comes lightning flash so brite ya lose sight

blinded, so now how u think you gonna fight?

My fame’s gonna spread like a bad rash

Albums passed ‘round like free cash

Everybody wants their piece of my sweet sweet pie

Guess what b*tches none of y’all were there

Not quite fair you didn’t see me n my inevitable fate

I bet sum people even getting a lil irate cuz ya just didn’t stack up

Now you’re claiming you’re rite there,

Like now your my back up?

Too good for me then, or just too f*ckin soup solid pretendin’ to be friends?

In reality you just had your backs up

You didn’t stand up when ya heard em talkin’ sh*t

That’s ok tho, that’s when I was busy writn’ this sh*t

News flash:

I don’t give a f*ck ‘bout you

Sure i did then, back when i thought you saw the power in me

Na, powerless more like what you thought of me

Instead you just tried taken advantage of me

Funny thing is:

Good things come to those who wait

Treatin’ me like lower class, trailer trash or better yet just 2nd rate?

Not once did you offer to clear your plate,

Banquet hall sittin’ in front of me then

Now you come to me wantin’ your just desserts?

Most of y’all ain’t gonna like it…

Mud pie extra worms

F*ck sum of you i’d pay to watch eaten ‘em while they squirm

You just laughed while u watched me fall

Well now how bout you try n uncry all those tears? Nope!

It’s exactly what you feared

This sleeping beauty just woke the f*ck up

Grabbed a Hoover n sucked her sh*t up

Many ppl who claim they knew me back when, they never knew me

N I aint givin’ another clue out for free

I was an open book to anyone who’d listen as I was trying to find myself

Now I remind myself, I  did it by myself and I’d do it again

true i’ve f*cked up ain’t saying that’s why I’m proud

Everyone slips, sum stumble sometimes even crumble

Maybe just for now I forgot to be humble but nows my time to shine so I think it’s Okay…

act like you knew me?

WHO THE F*CK AM I TODAY?

 

©2014 Shavon Taylor

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Ever After?

How do you continually say such hurtful sh*t?

Next you apologize then I’m just supposed to forget?

Like it all just goes away?

How can you say you don’t mean the things you say, 

When you say the exact same as you said yesterday?

How can you say you love this person you so venomously describe?

How can you spit such hate, while looking me dead in the eyes?

How do you believe you love me when all other evidence proves you’re beginning to hate me?

Why is it such torture when we are together?

Who am I trying to kid, when we’re apart it ain’t much better

Every breath, every moment, every word seems to go completely unheard, unnoticed

Underestimated is the pain of such misunderstandings

Tell me, honestly if we haven’t figured out how to be happy together yet, do you think we ever can be?

If we still spend every night like this will you ever attempt to understand me?

I realize nothing I do seems right to you,

I do things a lil differently than most I’ll admit

To be completely fair tho, it’s not like I kept it a secret

What is it you used to love about me?

​Did I somehow change so immensely, or did you just finally let go of trying to make me the person you think I ought to be?

Once you say something you can’t just take it back

There’s always some truth behind it, no matter how hard the attack

Some I wish you could undo tho because they feel like the sharpest knives in my heart and trying to slice right thru

My heart that’s where you generally aim your linguistic sword, always going for the kill shot

Each blow hurts so much more than you may have thought 

Yet I get back up, trying to hold on only to be pushed back down again

Fighting so f*cking hard to just ignore the pain while refusing to show my shame

I truly am so lost you know, no matter how hard I look I rarely seem to find my way anywhere

Do you really think I float so freely thru life, nothing in my head but air?

If only you could peek inside and see all these damn thoughts weighing down on me

I’m like a chameleon always in the background, seeming to blend right in

I just can’t keep up the fight any more, it’s really beginning to look like neither one ofus will ever win

Hurting each other instead over and over,

every day and every night

Aren’t you tired from this fight, 

because honestly it looks like there’s no end in sight

©2014 Clovers All Over

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River Rock Walkin’

Down by the river pickin’ up some heart rocks
No music, just a few friends, even fewer talks
Serenity sensationally silencing, surprisingly
Lost in awe, thoughts contained, far from drained
Energy in fact picking up with the winds whim
Worries turn to wonders
While the wisdom washes away all cares
Nothing like the feeling of the crisp morning air
Chills to the bone like ripples around the crashing waves
Almost reminiscent of more youthful days
Soft soothing sloshing sounds slowly seeping in subconsciously
Finding myself reminding myself not to listen too intently
So easily I can get lost in my own thoughts
The mind almost begging for the change in the air to rub off
Hours can pass as quickly as the clouds
If I get caught in a daze
Sometimes it’s hard to see thru the misty morning haze
Even on some of the clearest days
©2014 Shavon Taylor @ Cloversallover.com

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Forgotten Forest

I wonder if you seek your happiness in the same way I seek mine

With such cold calculation realizing there is none there to find

Saying with such pride “I’m ready to change”

In similarity do you too hide?

Afraid to accept a challenge, too timid to rise to your feet?

Too embarrassed and ashamed to ever admit defeat

“I’m in control of my life and what I say goes”

Somehow find it hard to shake that dreadful feeling that maybe you’re wrong

 Or worse, maybe it shows

Hiding in anger for its so easy to find

All that’s needed is to press rewind Enough fuel to feed the fire and keep it burning hot

Haunted by the past even by some things you thought you forgot

You never know tho when they just might reappear

From the foggy forgotten forest, to the cripplingly crystal clear

That sad actuality that each cold and empty nite  is exactly what you chose

Loneliness lingers longer than laughter

Especially when you feel it right down to your toes

​©2014 Shavon Taylor  CloversAllOver.com